Office by Alex Penny
Well...Yeah...How do I start one of these things? Okay well for starters I'm a video game geek, an avid reader, the awkward shy kid, and I want to be a storyboard writer at some point...so yeah that's me in a nut shell. Any more questions? Well ask them darn it that's what this thing is for right?
tumblrbot: WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST HUMAN MEMORY?
I don’t know! I can’t remember.
shayalyn: If a chicken and a 5-year-old Asian boy began roasting hot dogs over an open flame at the same time, and the approximate weight of the Asian boy's hot dog was 2.7 ounces and the chicken's hot dog was .077 kilograms, whose hot dog would finish cooking first?
The chicken would most likely use his laser vision to cook the hot dog at a faster rate. Didn’t you know chickens have laser vision? Because in second grade I learned all about chickens and there ability to heat material with their cornea. Heck I still remember the rhyme we used: “Chickens cannot fly, but they make up for it with laser eyes. They burn the flying birds to the ground. Until they hear a splatting sound. And when the other birds have died, those chickens enjoy some fine wine.” Not the best rhyming in the world, but none the less it stuck with me, well that and it gave me a few nasty nightmares.
The following is a conversation that took place in my head between 7:46 PM and 8:01 PM
Voice 1: Dude this is sooooo lame. You should really just quite while your ahead.
Voice 2: I agree.
Me: Voice 2! How could you, you’ve always backed me up before.
Voice 2: Dude this time Voice 1 is right, like dead on.
Voice 1: Yeah I mean who wants to hear the weird conversations you have in your head.
Me: I don’t know…I’m just bored and my page looked so empty…and I…
Voice 1: Well your dumb. I don’t think I’m ever having a conversation within your head ever again.
Me: Nooooo! That’s like chopping off a limb or somthing.
Voice 2: I’m still here for you Ian.
Me: It’s not the same!
Voice 2: What, I’m not good enough for you or something.
Me: No, no…It’s just I need someone in my head to be a bad ass and frankly Voice 2 you suck at that.
Voice 2: So now I suck at being a bad ass too. Fine! I’m leaving you! Bye! You suck and stuff.
Voice 1: Wow! You really do suck at being a bad ass. Anyways, Voice 2, you wanna plague some other dude with mental problems.
Voice 2: Hell Yeah!
Voice 1 Stop that your terrible at it. Anyways, were going now Ian. So Adios asshole.
Me: Don’t leave! I don’t want to be sane!
Yoda: Worry not. New found crazy-ness shall enter your life you see.
Me (with sarcastic voice): Thanks Yoda. Thanks for being the new crazy-ness, that’s just what I needed a voice that sounds like Yoda in my head.
Yoda: At least Jar Jar Binks it is not.
Jar Jar Binks: Me-sa want to say-a hi.
Yoda: Now, screwed you are young McAwesome.
Me: FML
